Why do I feel sick? — Trixster Productions

If I have to hear one more sermon on being “salt” and “light” in the world (Matthew 5) with the following assumptions, I am going to puke, hurl, upchuck. Okay— fine. I’ll tone it down: I am going to have digestive problems—

   Assumption #1: I have never heard this before.
   Assumption #2: if I have heard it, I don’t truly get it.
   Assumption #3: if I do get it, I am not actually practicing it.

Ugh people.

First rule of thumb: when you feel like throwing up, you are probably sick… sick of something. I mean, I am no medical doctor… but...

Well, I am not sick of Jesus’ words. Jesus spoke these words not just to everyday folk, but to an oppressed people, a non-majority people. I am sure that under their circumstances, they were surprised to hear that they were actually the true agents of the vibrancy (light) and aliveness (salt) in the world, and not the self-proclaimed Salt-n-Light toutin’ Caesar and his Roman Empire. “You are the salt of the earth and light of the world, not those silly people dressed in armored skirts,” Jesus undoubtedly said.

As Jesus is saying this, I picture the people looking at each other thinking, “Who me…?” “Lil’ me who tries— emphasis on ‘try’— to thirst and hunger for righteousness, in the midst of doing unconscionable loads of laundry every day?” Yes, you. “Lil’ me who is grieving the loss of my son, and can barely wake up in the morning?” Yes, you. “Lil’ me who just practiced mercy half-heartedly towards my grumpy neighbor, by giving him a ride to the store?” Yes, you. Who us...? with brown skin, whose daughter just got bullied? Yes, you for sure. And the list goes on.

Jesus… really? Sigh. You are such a bummer. I want you to be sexier than that! Call me to SEXY! But since when does he listen to me about that… NEVER. He is so stubborn. Rather, here’s the nerdy equation Jesus bids me to trust time and again: x = salt and light, where x = poor in spirit, mourning, meek, hunger/thirst for righteousness, merciful, peacemakers, persecuted for justice. In other words:

                                                              poor in spirit,
                                                              mourning,
                     Salt and light =                meek,
                                                              hunger/thirst for righteousness,
                                                              merciful,
                                                              peacemaking,
                                                              persecuted for justice

Sorry Mr. Reagan— echoing John Winthrop (c. 1630AD)— “City on a Hill” turns out to not be about Empire— American, “civilization” (read Whiteness), or otherwise. And it is certainly not about capitalism and/or representative democracy! (Hint: those things did not exist at the time Jesus spoke on the Mount). “City on a hill” is then most assuredly about being x, not its opposite, '-x'. In other words:

                                                              haughty in spirit,
                                                              unmoved in loss and tragedy
NEG -x (i.e. NOT salt and light) =      uninhibited,
                                                              hunger/thirst for licentiousness,
                                                              merciless,
                                                              agitators, war-making
                                                              praised for lawlessness

How are we doing at that, America? ooh. Ouch. I see no evidence in our politics as our being salt and light, as defined by Jesus. America NOT "city on a hill". Look at the list again. I'm afraid: NEG x describes us more accurately.

Jesus, in this light (ha! get it?) you are so deeply UnAmerican. In fact, when I have listened to that scene on the “mount” lately, I actually kinda giggle. Jesus is joking, right? The ones who seem to be the main actors in the world, the ones in power— you know, the ones on stage, on T.V., getting 1M ‘views’ on YouTube, writing books, getting elected, making movies, conquering lands, getting rich— are not the “salt” and “light” in the world?? You’re kidding me, right? Are you sure they are not the ones who are making the world go around?

Jesus, the jokester.

If only the sermon I just heard (and those like it) had spoken these unsettling truths. Now if they had, I have no doubt that I would have used an all-hands-on-deck approach to such a serious accusation. WHAT!?! Don't go there, pastor. Alarms would be going off: warning, warning, warning-- I'm about to have to change my mind... I might have to have mercy on those who don't deserve it... voting certain policies in that seem unfair, but are merciful... No. No. Make it go away! NO!

I am well acquainted with my subtle and not-so-subtle-but-oh-so-sophisticated armor against Love (God) and its power to show my allegiance to Empire and to its oxygen ‘-x’. It's entrenched in me, just like in everyone. But the more I am disheartened and disappointed in Empire the easier it gets to open myself up to the vulnerability necessary to experience what in the end-- with many temper tantrums in the process-- is my freedom.